Awakened Paradigm

As someone that was raised to be a people-pleaser and to have no boundaries whatsoever, and taught that I was to be “nice” no matter the cost—even at the expense of my own truth, energy, and well-being—I was conditioned to suppress anything that could be perceived as unlikable, too intense, or even slightly confrontational. That included my highly observant and discerning nature, my ability to sharply perceive dynamics beneath the surface, and the part of me that instinctively saw through people and environments that weren’t operating in integrity. And whether it was because I grew up walking on eggshells around highly critical figures, or found myself in emotionally volatile environments where I had no room to breathe or even form a clear sense of self, for a long time, I thought those parts of me made me a bad person—or that I needed to silence them entirely in order to be accepted and approved of, even while the world around me had free rein to criticize, control, and impose itself ...

  If you are wondering whether or not there are destructive cults operating in your day-to-day life experience—whether in your neighborhood, workplace, local community organizations, religious institutions, social groups, or even within online spaces you frequent—it’s important to understand that not all cultic behavior wears a dramatic or obvious mask. Many of these environments are subtle in their control tactics, often cloaked in the appearance of goodwill, shared values, or community unity. But when we start to examine these spaces through the lens of the BITE model created by Steven Hassan—which outlines how cults manipulate Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotion—we begin to see that some of the most insidious forms of control and coercion aren’t always found in isolated compounds or fringe groups, but right in the places we’re told are meant to help us belong. And the reality is that coercive group influence can often hide behind carefully curated community messaging, so...

  As an individual who happens to be gay, I’ve had to sit with the uncomfortable truth that in many low-conscious individuals, groups, and communities, there is a deeply ingrained belief that people like me are somehow subhuman—stripped of our dignity, reduced to a caricature, and seen as little more than a threat to their rigid worldview. And what makes it even more disturbing is that this mindset doesn’t just arise out of ignorance—it comes from a state of consciousness that’s so constricted, and so psychospiritually unevolved, that it cannot even tolerate the existence of someone whose life, essence, or identity falls outside of its narrow framework. So, when I speak of low consciousness, I’m not talking about just a lack of information—I’m talking about a primitive, fear-based level of awareness that is so emotionally stunted, so spiritually disconnected, and so psychologically dependent on sameness, control, and ideological uniformity in order to feel secure (where one’s sense...

  When dealing with high-control religious groups and communities that think they have the exclusive right to embody spiritual worth and connection—which means that they often behave as though they’re entitled to spiritual authority, moral superiority, or divine access in ways that no one else is—setting boundaries for ourselves becomes more than just an act of self-preservation; it becomes a sacred declaration of our right to exist, evolve, and embody our own connection to the divine without interference. What this means is that these high-control religious groups and communities often operate from a warped sense of entitlement, where they believe they have the final say over what is holy, what is righteous, or who is worthy—and anyone who dares to walk in their own spiritual sovereignty outside of their narrow religious framework is instantly perceived as rebellious, deceived, or dangerous. But in reality, what they’re really reacting to is the threat of someone else living free ...

  When we get further into our spiritual awakening or personal self-worth journey, setting boundaries with individuals, environments, and groups that don't yet know their own inherent divinity becomes crucial, because they will use their lack of self-worth to try and undermine ours. They’ll also twist our growth into arrogance, our boundaries into selfishness, and our self-respect into rebellion—because our light becomes a mirror they’re not ready to face yet. And when people are still operating from deeply unhealed identities and unresolved inner wounds, they often respond to our evolution with guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or attempts to reassert control over how we see ourselves, how we show up in the world, and how much of our truth we’re allowed to stand in. And that’s why setting boundaries isn’t just about protecting our peace—it’s about preserving the sanctity of our path, where we can’t afford to let people who haven’t even begun the work of reclaiming their own self-worth ...