It’s Not About Religion—Or Is It? Unpacking Contradictions in Faith

 I am extremely distrusting of people who say, ‘It’s not about religion. It’s about Jesus,’ because when you look at their way of life, they spend most of their time in religious constructs, such as the church or other organized communal settings that clearly revolve around institutionalized systems of faith. The people who make these claims of ‘It’s not about religion, it’s about Jesus,’ their words might sound appealing on the surface, as if they are advocating for a direct and personal relationship with the divine, but through their actions and lifestyle, they often reveal a deep-seated entanglement with conventional religious practice, relying heavily on its structures, traditions, and community-based approval to define and validate their existence or sense of spirituality. This contradiction raises questions about whether they genuinely prioritize a connection with Jesus or if their allegiance lies solely with the religious constructs and hierarchies that claim to represent Him, where more often than not, religious control, conformity, and preserving institutional authority seems to always take precedent at the end of the day.

When I hear these claims repeated so often, this kind of statement feels like an attempt to rebrand traditional religious practices as something more personal and authentic, while the reality often shows an ongoing dependence on the very same religious constructs that they claim to transcend. By claiming spiritual independence while still adhering to institutionalized norms, it’s as though they want to separate themselves from the stigma of organized religion without actually stepping outside of it. This creates a disconnect between their words and actions, making their claims of spiritual independence feel like a convenient narrative to avoid the criticisms of organized religion while still benefiting from its structures, rather than a genuine reflection of true spiritual freedom beyond institutional constraints. So, for those who claim to prioritize a personal relationship with Jesus over organized religion, when their life is so deeply embedded in church activities, sermons, efforts to convert, participation in rituals, adherence to hierarchical authority, and the reinforcement of communal dogma, it becomes hard to believe that their focus is solely on Jesus rather than the traditions and expectations of religious paradigms.

Before going further, for those who may be on the same frequency as me, if you need the external validation, what we are experiencing when we encounter people who say ‘It’s not about religion, it’s about Jesus’, yet they continue to rely heavily on institutionalized religious constructs, is gaslighting. They are distorting the truth of their behavior and denying the contradiction in their words and actions and subtly invalidating our perception of what true spiritual independence should look and feel like. This can sometimes create confusion in us, which is exactly the intent, where the outcome they want is for us to believe that we are misunderstanding or misinterpreting the situation, making us question (and hopefully stop trusting in) our own perception, intuition, and spiritual discernment. It’s almost as if they want to erode our confidence in our ability to see the truth clearly, making us reliant on their version of reality, which is disconnected from genuine spiritual freedom. But the truth of the matter is, despite their pronouncement that it’s not about religion, they are deeply entangled with the very same systems they claim to reject in their assertions, and it’s crucial for us to recognize this manipulation rather than accepting it as truth.

In trying to reconcile their claims with their actions, the contradictions between their words and behaviors give rise to a kind of cognitive dissonance that stems from such hypocrisy, which can be frustrating for those of us striving to connect with God in ways that are free from gatekeepers, religious hierarchies, institutional constraints, and prescribed narratives. If we don’t have firm boundaries in place, the dissonance we experience from their contradictions and hypocrisy can undermine our own quest for genuine, authentic spirituality, which is not bound by external religious control or expectations, ultimately leaving us vulnerable to the pressures of conformity and the erosion of our spiritual autonomy. And while there’s nothing inherently wrong with organized religion for those who practice it with authenticity, integrity, level-headedness, self-awareness, accountability, and a genuine commitment to personal expansion—beyond trying to recruit others into a culture of co-dependency, which I will touch on later—it becomes problematic when the focus shifts from individual growth to enforcing conformity, control, and maintaining the institution’s power. So, when someone claims that their faith is independent of religious constructs while simultaneously leaning heavily on them (such as relying on church attendance, communal dogma, adherence to hierarchical authority, expecting outsiders to fall in line under institutional power and control schemas, superficial practices, conversion practices, and the validation of the religious community), it undermines the credibility of their words. This also perpetuates the idea that spirituality must always be filtered through religious institutions, a belief that, for many of us, feels limiting to our souls and inauthentic to who we are.

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As a hefty side note—don’t they know that we’ve been set free from religious constructs in Christ? So why do they continue to bind themselves—and others—to the very same systems from which we’ve been liberated from? It just seems contradictory and counterproductive, as if they are more concerned with preserving the very structures that limit spiritual growth and freedom, rather than embracing the liberating truth of personal, unmediated connection with the divine (beyond the confines of religious institutions, rituals, and prescribed doctrines that often stifle individuality and authentic spiritual expression).

It just seems a bit suspect that, instead of embracing the freedom of true spiritual liberation beyond the confines of the church matrix or religious atmospheres, they’re more concerned with continuing to cling to outdated, limiting institutional frameworks that perpetuate their own spiritual bondage. What makes things even more alarming is that they even have the nerve to try and impose these same spiritual limitations that their under onto those of us who are not under the same religious or institutional strongholds. And it’s as if they are more invested in preserving their own sense of authority, power, & control that comes from within these systems, rather than promoting and allowing others to experience what true spiritual liberation feels like outside of these confining religious systems.

In my own relationship with the divine, God has given me the wisdom to understand that true spiritual freedom lies in breaking free from the constraints of external validation, basing my worth off others’ expectations, and the oppressive systems of religious control. This freedom that I’ve found, it invites us to live authentically outside of traditional frameworks, and it demands courage, self-trust, and the willingness to step away from any of the limiting structures that confine us, allowing us to uncover the deeper truths that speak directly to our souls. So, by stepping away from these constraints, we embrace the fullness of our individuality, forge a deeply personal and transformative relationship with the divine, and we give ourselves the space to grow—free from the weight of imposed limitations or expectations that often arise from organized religious frameworks, societal pressures, or the judgment of those bound by rigid spiritual paradigms.

But yea, sure, I can also see the positive aspects that can come from organized religion, like community, a sense of belonging, shared values, and the support system it can provide. That said, if it comes at the cost of sacrificing our personal freedom to connect with the divine outside of institutional constraints, or if it perpetuates a cycle of control, conformity, and spiritual stagnation, then the very essence of spirituality is compromised. And when it becomes compromised, spirituality shifts from being a path of liberation and personal transformation to a tool of control & domination that stifles individuality, discourages authentic exploration, and enforces adherence to rigid systems that may no longer serve our growth or alignment with the divine. This distortion undermines the true purpose of spirituality, which is to foster a direct, meaningful connection with God that empowers us to live authentically and to evolve in alignment with our unique calling.

Also, at what point does community become co-dependency? When the need for belonging and support turns into a reliance on external validation, control, or the constant reinforcement of groupthink, it stops being a healthy community and becomes a system of dependence. True community should empower individuals to grow, thrive, and connect authentically with their own personal relationship with the divine, even if it means stepping away from traditions that no longer resonate with them, questioning established beliefs that have been uncritically accepted or imposed, or walking a path that diverges from the collective norm in pursuit of a more authentic and transformative spiritual journey. It should not require conformity or blind adherence to prescribed norms or community dogma but rather should celebrate individuality and encourage personal exploration as part of the journey toward spiritual growth and connection. But when people are discouraged from questioning, exploring, or even stepping outside of the boundaries of the group for fear of rejection, judgment, or punishment, that’s not community—it’s control.

This is why in my own journey, I’ve come to embrace the importance of cultivating a direct, unmediated relationship with the divine, free from the limitations imposed by institutionalized systems. It’s not about rejecting community altogether but it’s about recognizing that true community should never be about co-dependency, systems of control & authority (that are abusive and overreaching), or conformity in the name of unity. Instead, it should be about lifting one another up, encouraging each other’s growth, and allowing each individual to walk their unique spiritual path without a fear of retaliation, ostracization, or condemnation. And when we can connect with God in a way that transcends all the religiosity of these limited organized human-made constructs and individuate—which in the context of spirituality refers to the process of realizing and embracing our own unique identity and path in relation to the divine (beyond institutional constraints, societal expectations, or prescribed doctrines)—we are able to embrace the fullness of divine connection that is already available to us with the freedom, authenticity, and depth that allows our souls to thrive and align with our true purpose.

To further illuminate, individuation is the journey of personal growth, self-awareness, and spiritual maturation that sets us free from the constraints of communities that are rooted in co-dependency, control, conformity, or imposed religious norms and traditions, where true spiritual liberation is not about being restricted by the boundaries of organized religion, but about stepping into a path that fosters an authentic connection with divinity that honors our personal sovereignty. And it is here, in this space of true spiritual freedom, that we can fully embrace who we are meant to be, unburdened by the expectations of others or the constraints of institutionalized frameworks, where we can align with the divine on our own terms and allow our souls to thrive in a connection that is deeply personal, profoundly liberating, and entirely our own.

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Continuing along – In the pursuit of deeper understanding and personal emancipation from the constraints of traditional religious paradigms, when it comes to truly seeking liberation from spiritual limitations, true spiritual freedom isn’t about rejecting religion verbally while secretly clinging to its institutionalized frameworks and simultaneously trying to convince others to convert and participate in the same restrictive systems. It’s about stepping into a relationship with the divine that isn’t confined by religious expectations, external rituals, community dogma, societal pressures, the external approval of any institution, or trying to take away another’s right to their own individuated spiritual journey. This kind of freedom often comes with difficult choices though, like distancing oneself from environments that prioritize control over genuine connection, breaking free from ingrained beliefs that no longer serve your growth, challenging the norms of communities that expect blind conformity, walking away from relationships that stifle your spiritual authenticity, confronting the fear of isolation that comes with choosing an uncharted path, or embracing the unknown with faith and resilience. However, it’s precisely in these moments of courage and self-trust in stepping away from these limiting frameworks and institutional expectations that seek to define our spiritual path, that true spiritual liberation takes root, allowing us to fully embody our unique unmediated connection with the divine, where we are able to step fully into a life of authenticity, purpose, and unbounded freedom beyond the systems that confine us.

Expanding on the idea of spiritual limitations, I also find that the people who think that church is the only way to find happiness in life quite disturbing. They’ve got this warped idea that joy and fulfillment can only be accessed through the confines of religious conformity, practices and rituals, where it’s as if they believe that anything outside of the church or religious communal settings is devoid of any real meaning or spiritual significance. This mindset not only limits their perspective about God, but it also sends a subtle, yet harmful, message to others—that their happiness or connection to God is invalid if it doesn’t conform to the same religious institutions or structures. As a result, this rigid belief creates an environment where people feel pressured to conform to the church’s version of happiness, often ignoring their own unique paths and suppressing their individuated sense of spiritual individuality. This is disturbing because it fosters dependence on the institution rather than empowering people to cultivate their own authentic relationship with God, even if it means stepping outside of traditional structures, questioning long-held beliefs, or walking a path that feels unfamiliar and unconventional. This kind of dependence on institutionalized religion not only hinders true spiritual liberation but it also perpetuates a cycle of conformity and fear, discouraging people from stepping into their own power and discovering their own personal connection to the divine that transcends organized religious constructs. As a result, when spirituality becomes more about control and conformity rather than authentic spiritual freedom, it ceases to nourish the soul and instead becomes a barrier to the profound transformation that comes from truly knowing oneself, one’s purpose, and one’s unique connection to the divine.

When we move beyond the constraints of institutionalized faith, true spiritual freedom is about recognizing that God—or however one chooses to define the divine—is not confined to a building, a congregation, or a set of rules. It’s about embracing the idea that spirituality can manifest in a countless number of ways, reflecting the unique essence of each individual. Though the sooner we can move away from this limiting mindset that insists spirituality must conform to rigid frameworks and external validation based on societal expectations and institutional approval, the closer we’ll come to experiencing the fullness of our own authentic connection with the divine and the freedom to explore, grow, and live in alignment with our truest spiritual essence. I also believe that this mindset of institutional inflexibility not only limits our personal growth on every level, but that it actively harms the broader conversation around spirituality by discouraging open exploration and stifling the legitimate diversity of personal experiences that enrich our understanding of the sacred. But by tying spiritual legitimacy to institutional conformity, it reinforces the idea that spirituality must be mediated by an external authority, creating a hierarchy of “spiritual validity,” where those who follow organized or prescribed religious practices are seen as closer to God, while those who seek a personal, independent relationship with the divine are often judged, dismissed, or even ostracized. This attitude discourages genuine efforts of exploration and prevents people from trusting in their own spiritual experiences, when in actuality, it’s those personal, unmediated experiences that often lead to the most profound transformations within us. So, when people are empowered to connect with the divine in their own way, free from institutional constraints, they can fully embrace the depth, growth, and authenticity of their own spiritual journey.

Turning to the impact that institutionalized faith has had on people that have experienced spiritual abuse or exclusion, these rigid frameworks from these environments alienate people who have been hurt by religious institutions or who simply don’t resonate with traditional approaches. This alienation not only deepens their wounds, but it also creates barriers to authentic spiritual exploration and healing, and instead of offering a space for growth and connection, these systems often reinforce feelings of judgment, inadequacy, and isolation, making it harder for individuals to trust their own spiritual instincts or to seek out a path that aligns with their own individuation. On top of that, these systems often demand conformity to their prescribed doctrines and practices, further stifling personal growth and discouraging the pursuit of spiritual autonomy. This can leave individuals feeling trapped, as they are left feeling like they must either conform to these restrictive frameworks or risk being ostracized or condemned. Such dynamics not only perpetuate cycles of spiritual dependency, but they also hinder the transformative power of personal self-discovery and the freedom to connect with the divine in a way that is uniquely meaningful and authentic to each person. Also, for those who have experienced exclusion, shame, or control within organized religion, hearing “It’s not about religion, it’s about Jesus”, especially from individuals still deeply embedded in those structures, it can feel deeply invalidating and it’s as if their pain and disillusionment are being glossed over with no real acknowledgment of the harm that can come from institutionalized faith. This lack of acknowledgment not only dismisses their experiences but also perpetuates a narrative that absolves religious institutions of accountability, leaving those who have been hurt feeling even more unseen and unsupported in their spiritual journey.

Stepping back to look at the bigger picture, what’s missing in this conversation is the humility to recognize that spirituality is deeply personal and cannot be boxed into one universal path. To suggest that any one method, especially one tied so closely to organized religion, is the only legitimate way to God, is to deny the vastness and diversity of spiritual expression. It imposes a narrow lens on what should be an expansive and deeply personal journey, reducing the sacred to a rigid set of rules, identity frameworks, or practices, and it disregards the spiritual sovereignty and personal autonomy of others to have their own unmediated connection with the divine, free from institutional gatekeeping, prescribed doctrines, or the expectations of conformity. In examining the consequences of this mindset, such a narrow view imposes unnecessary limitations on the infinite ways in which people can experience and express their faith, and it creates a false hierarchy of spiritual legitimacy, where those who step outside of traditional frameworks are unfairly judged as less valid or authentic. It also discourages the exploration of unique paths that may be deeply transformative—mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—but fall outside the accepted norms of traditional religious frameworks leaving individuals feeling unsupported or even ostracized for pursuing their authentic spiritual journeys that lead to profound growth, self-awareness, and a deeper connection with the divine on their own terms. This rigidity stifles not only individual freedom but also the collective potential to embrace and learn from the rich diversity of spiritual experiences. It upholds systems of control and conformity at the expense of genuine connection and transformation, making it harder for communities to evolve and for individuals to feel safe exploring paths that align with their deepest truths. But true spirituality is expansive, inclusive, and liberating, not restrictive or punitive, and it thrives when people are free to follow their own unique journeys without fear of condemnation or rejection.

Please keep in mind that I am talking about healthy forms of spirituality that lead to personal growth, deeper self-awareness, authentic connection with the divine, and a greater sense of purpose. These are paths that empower individuals to evolve mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, enabling them to navigate life with greater clarity, resilience, and inner peace. Such spirituality encourages self-discovery, individuality, and the freedom to explore one’s unique path rather than conforming to external expectations or rigid doctrines. It allows space for questioning, continuous growth, and the unfolding of one’s spiritual journey in a way that feels authentic and deeply transformative. It also recognizes that every individual’s relationship with the divine is personal and cannot be dictated by institutional frameworks, societal pressures, dogmatic traditions, or the need for external validation. Instead, it invites people to embrace their own individuation and to find alignment with their truest selves, their inner wisdom, and the divine purpose uniquely meant for them. It is a call to step into authenticity, to honor personal truth, and to cultivate a spirituality that nourishes the soul and fosters meaningful transformation. But don’t forget, this kind of spiritual freedom is not about rejecting all traditions, practices, or beliefs, but it is about discerning what resonates most with our innermost being, what contributes most to our own soulful expansion, and what may be keeping us stuck in our own development.

In the end, spirituality *should* be about liberation, individuation, and personal transformation, where each person is allowed to authentically connect with the divine in a way that reflects their unique essence and purpose. It is not about conforming to things that don’t align with our unique relationship with God, Source, or the divine, nor is it about compromising our integrity and individuality for external validation or basing our worth on others’ expectations. Rather, it’s about embracing the freedom to evolve, expand, and experience the profound connection that comes from living in alignment with one’s differentiated true soul calling. This may mean transcending structures that no longer serve our growth, stepping away from traditions that limit our authenticity, and embracing non-traditional paths that lead us closer to our truest essence and life’s purpose. So undoubtedly, this journey invites us to step beyond the limitations of prescribed norms, to embrace the depths of our authentic experiences and self-expression, and to cultivate a spiritual path that honors our individuality while fostering a deeper connection with the divine. It also encourages us to trust in our inner wisdom, to explore our own sense of spirituality without fear, and to find meaning in the sacredness of our personal evolution, recognizing that the divine is far too vast and expansive to be confined to any single framework, and our paths should reflect that truth. Thus, when we embrace this freedom, we not only honor our individuality and spiritual sovereignty, but we also create space for others to do the same—free from judgment, control, or the need to validate one’s path against another. Only then can we foster environments of authentic harmony and cultivate a deeper, more inclusive understanding of what it means to truly connect with the divine.

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Thank you for being here with me on this journey today. Genuine spiritual freedom is about embracing the diverse and deeply personal ways that people connect with the divine—ways that inspire transformation, self-discovery, and inner peace. When we open ourselves to this creative, expansive divinity, we move closer to a world where spirituality isn’t about control or division but instead becomes a force that unites us and helps us grow.

At its core, true spiritual freedom means giving ourselves and others the space to connect with the divine in ways that resonate deeply with our authentic selves—our innermost being, where our true identity and purpose reside. This kind of freedom fosters environments where true spiritual liberation can thrive—places where mutual respect, understanding, and individuality are valued. It’s not about clinging to rigid rules, conformity, or seeking approval from institutions. Instead, it’s about nurturing authenticity, fostering growth, and building genuine connections with ourselves, the divine, and those around us.

By taking this approach, we help cultivate a world where exploring spirituality is celebrated, where our differences become strengths, and where each person feels empowered to live in alignment with their own unmediated, personal relationship with a higher power. As we walk this path together, let’s continue to explore, question, and grow, trusting that every journey—no matter how unconventional—is a meaningful and sacred expression of the divine within us.

I hope that you leave here today feeling inspired to honor your own unique spiritual path, knowing that it is valid, meaningful, and worthy of exploration. May you feel encouraged to trust in your personal connection with the divine, free from the need to conform to external expectations or rigid frameworks. And together, by honoring our individuality and supporting one another, we can create spaces that reflect the expansive, transformative nature of the divine—spaces where authenticity, growth, and connection can flourish.

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