Embrace the Solitude

 For me, in the past five years, being single and figuring out who I authentically am outside of a relationship has been a true godsend. I got to figure out a lot about myself, a lot of my own conditioning, and I started to heal a lot of my own dysfunction and the toxicity around what I thought love was and how relationships worked. And in this solitude of being single, I realized that so much of what I once believed about love and relationships was shaped by external influences—societal expectations, past wounds, and unconscious patterns that I had absorbed without question. And so, taking this time for myself has allowed me to deconstruct those narratives and to truly understand what aligns with my authentic self, where I’ve learned to recognize the difference between love that is rooted in control, obligation, or trauma bonds—versus love that is expansive, freeing, and built on genuine connection.


But more importantly, I’ve come to see that I don’t need to be in a relationship to feel whole, because wholeness is something that I cultivate from within myself, not something that I place in the hands of another person, where I’ve learned that love, when it’s real, isn’t about filling a void or seeking validation—it’s about two whole individuals coming together in a way that honors their individuality while enhancing their connection. And so going forward, any future relationship that I step into will be a reflection of that—an extension of my wholeness rather than a desperate search for completion.

So, to anyone out there who feels pressured to be in a relationship just for the sake of not being alone, or who has broken up for any number of reasons—whether it was out of necessity, personal growth, or realizing that the relationship no longer served you—I want to remind you that solitude isn’t something to fear—it’s an opportunity. It’s a space where you can truly get to know yourself, to strip away any conditioning that’s kept you trapped in unhealthy patterns, and to heal what needs healing so that when authentic and healthy love does enter your life, it’s not out of desperation, loneliness, fear of being alone, or societal pressure, but out of genuine alignment and from a healed place.

This means that being single isn’t a void that needs to be filled; it’s a season of growth, discovery, and transformation if you allow it to be. And it’s also a chance for you to build a foundation of self-awareness and inner strength like never before—one that no relationship could ever give you, but that will shape the kind of connections you attract going forward. And when you finally step into a relationship from a place of wholeness instead of lack one day, you won’t be looking for someone to complete you—you’ll be looking for someone who complements the person you’ve already become, which is someone who adds to your life without defining your self-worth and without becoming the source of your happiness or identity. Instead, they will be a reflection of the love, respect, and fulfillment you’ve already cultivated within yourself—someone who enhances your journey rather than distracts you from it—and that doesn’t take you away from who you are at your core.



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